The next morning our companionship woke up with a resolve to do a little better I think. After I had gone to bed, Love and Tripp went out into the foyer to talk a little more calmly about what had really been bothering them which I think was an excellent choice looking back on how the day could have gone had everything not been resolved.
We had the opportunity to teach an 'investigator' named Barbara (not sure if I said this already but we found out that she was certainly not an investigator when we went to do a session at the temple and she was working). She is probably in her 60's or so and is a real hoot but we were able to open her up a little bit and she mentioned something about her boy and that stood out to me..so I asked her about it and she told us that her son Eric had died when he was a baby and so because of that..neither she nor her husband Harvey wanted to join a church because they didn't want to go anywhere different than Eric. They had been taught by some different Christian denominations that Eric would go to hell because he had died without being baptized and my heart just broke her her! This was someone's real life story and there really are people, tons of people, who have been told that same lie all over the world! So I testified to Barbara not only of the false belief of necessity of infant baptism but also of eternal families.
The spirit was so strong by that point in the lesson that I actually felt that I should ask Barbara if she would be baptized. She said that she would have to talk to Harvey about it and then my companions just took the lesson in a completely different direction! I was so mad! We were obviously not on the same page but I guess it couldn't have been too detrimental seeing as how she is already a member and all but still!
At lunch right after that we were all sitting together as a zone when I noticed an investigator sitting alone so I got a few sisters to go with me and get to know her. She was great! Her name was Sarah and she was there for her job..getting paid to let missionaries teach her about our church..pretty cool. Lunch was only an hour though so we cleared up some of the things she was confused about and then set up an appointment to meet with her the following Monday for lunch!
Saturday, 23 November 2013
October 22
'This morning was our service project and it was the one thing I was hope-hope-hoping we wouldn't have to do...bathrooms.'
I let everybody know pretty quickly that I claimed sinks..none of that shower/toilet nonsense for this lady! Sister Love chose mirrors so the two of us were working pretty closely together but at one point I got done on that floor before the others so I headed to the next area we were assigned to only to be joined once more with Love just a few minutes later. She and I finished our designated tasks pretty early so we were able to double back and help some other sisters with their task..toilets of all things. Once we had completed their task Love and I went back to our dorm to get ready for the day but we still hadn't seen Sister Tripp since we had first split up..so I stayed in the room incase she came and Love did a quick sweep of our two assigned floors but came back without having seen her. 10 minutes passed by before the door opened with Tripp behind it and all hell broke loose
Tripp slammed open the door, threw her arms in the air and said, "what the heck guys?"...eh shocked much? She completely flipped out on us saying that because we wouldn't do our own designated job that she and another sister had had to double back and clean all of the sinks on another floor and that they were the only ones there and all of these other terrible things and then just never said another word to us for the next..oh 2 hours. Yikes.
We had a companionship inventory that night which was rough to say the least..lots of yelling, crying, leaving the room, smacking the floor. It was really bad. Most of the conflict was brought up between Tripp and Love which I appreciated and didn't. Love went first in airing her grievances and once she was done I felt like the list was so long that I didn't want to add more to poor Tripp on how she could be better so I just told her one thing that had irked me the most.
I felt bad because it was pretty apparent that she has some significant insecurities that she isn't handling well..it just was exhausting to always be catering to them! But as I chose not todo sort was really apparent in our companionship. A learning experience for sure!
I let everybody know pretty quickly that I claimed sinks..none of that shower/toilet nonsense for this lady! Sister Love chose mirrors so the two of us were working pretty closely together but at one point I got done on that floor before the others so I headed to the next area we were assigned to only to be joined once more with Love just a few minutes later. She and I finished our designated tasks pretty early so we were able to double back and help some other sisters with their task..toilets of all things. Once we had completed their task Love and I went back to our dorm to get ready for the day but we still hadn't seen Sister Tripp since we had first split up..so I stayed in the room incase she came and Love did a quick sweep of our two assigned floors but came back without having seen her. 10 minutes passed by before the door opened with Tripp behind it and all hell broke loose
Tripp slammed open the door, threw her arms in the air and said, "what the heck guys?"...eh shocked much? She completely flipped out on us saying that because we wouldn't do our own designated job that she and another sister had had to double back and clean all of the sinks on another floor and that they were the only ones there and all of these other terrible things and then just never said another word to us for the next..oh 2 hours. Yikes.
We had a companionship inventory that night which was rough to say the least..lots of yelling, crying, leaving the room, smacking the floor. It was really bad. Most of the conflict was brought up between Tripp and Love which I appreciated and didn't. Love went first in airing her grievances and once she was done I felt like the list was so long that I didn't want to add more to poor Tripp on how she could be better so I just told her one thing that had irked me the most.
I felt bad because it was pretty apparent that she has some significant insecurities that she isn't handling well..it just was exhausting to always be catering to them! But as I chose not todo sort was really apparent in our companionship. A learning experience for sure!
Friday, 15 November 2013
October 21
Here's the thing..I'm not about babying people. If I'm frustrated or done..well I'm just done by that point. And I had already approached this point of no return spoken of. Sister Tripp and I were at odds..obviously not getting along very well but I found that as I continually prayed for patience and charity towards her..I would receive it. She and I were just so vastly different..and I know that SO much of the struggle between the two of us was my fault. I was irritated and once irritated I don't particularly like humbling myself to be in a place to be able to change my own ways. I would much prefer the irritator change their ways! So logical.
Not so. Tripp and I were both really bull headed and as I came to recognize her insecurities and what set her off I did next to nothing to ease therm. No Christlike points for that one. Looking back it is always easier to see where you went wrong and what you should have done..but I am fully aware that my time with Sister Tripp was a time in which I could have grown a ton..or digressed. I didn't digress but I certainly didn't make strides towards becoming a better missionary or person either. Now hopefully I don't face another equally tough companionship..but if I should I hope and pray that I will be able to move through it with a little more grace and tact..but also a lot more growth.
By way of summary: Sister Tripp and I had another rough day. Coming out of the day though I wrote down these goals for myself: "I want to be more confident in myself and in my teaching abilities. I want to be more charitable and loving towards my companions, investigators, and all of those that I come in contact with. I want to be more humble. I want to be more uplifting. I want to come home from my mission so different than I left."
Not so. Tripp and I were both really bull headed and as I came to recognize her insecurities and what set her off I did next to nothing to ease therm. No Christlike points for that one. Looking back it is always easier to see where you went wrong and what you should have done..but I am fully aware that my time with Sister Tripp was a time in which I could have grown a ton..or digressed. I didn't digress but I certainly didn't make strides towards becoming a better missionary or person either. Now hopefully I don't face another equally tough companionship..but if I should I hope and pray that I will be able to move through it with a little more grace and tact..but also a lot more growth.
By way of summary: Sister Tripp and I had another rough day. Coming out of the day though I wrote down these goals for myself: "I want to be more confident in myself and in my teaching abilities. I want to be more charitable and loving towards my companions, investigators, and all of those that I come in contact with. I want to be more humble. I want to be more uplifting. I want to come home from my mission so different than I left."
October 20
First Sunday in the MTC! In that first meeting with our Branch Presidency they told us all that we each needed to prepare talks for both Sundays we would be there and that at the start of the meeting during announcements, we would be notified if we would be one of the speakers so we'd better come prepared! Heavens- I was sweating just thinking about it! Anyways..didn't have to give a talk thank my lucky stars!
Somehow all of the sisters in the zone who were singers swindled their way into making all of the rest of us vocally challenged people into being in the choir! Still don't know how they did it. But did it they did.
After choir practice we got to go on a 'temple walk'... AKA walking around the temple. Everyone at the MTC had an assigned time so it wasn't too crowded but it was still way packed. Our zone took pictures all together and just made the fondest of memories before we had to rush back for dinner and then a devotional. Part of the devotional was a recording of a previous address given by Elder Bednar on the character of Christ. It was amazing. It was one of those times that changes how you think for the rest of your life. I still feel absolutely blown away. Study the Character of Christ if you ever want to know what you could be doing better in your life..but don't if you don't want to feel like a selfish hog..but really do.
Somehow all of the sisters in the zone who were singers swindled their way into making all of the rest of us vocally challenged people into being in the choir! Still don't know how they did it. But did it they did.
After choir practice we got to go on a 'temple walk'... AKA walking around the temple. Everyone at the MTC had an assigned time so it wasn't too crowded but it was still way packed. Our zone took pictures all together and just made the fondest of memories before we had to rush back for dinner and then a devotional. Part of the devotional was a recording of a previous address given by Elder Bednar on the character of Christ. It was amazing. It was one of those times that changes how you think for the rest of your life. I still feel absolutely blown away. Study the Character of Christ if you ever want to know what you could be doing better in your life..but don't if you don't want to feel like a selfish hog..but really do.
October 19
"Today was a real doozy as Sister Tripp started off the day in disagreement of all that Sister Love and I had to say. It was hard to respond patiently and with love but I must say..I saw the fruits of my prayer last night for more charity.
"The day got worse before it got better. I was feeling really down trodden and misunderstood. Quite grouchy and confused when we watched a video in our Zone Training Meeting which changed my whole perspective: I was looking inward instead of reaching outward."
"The day got worse before it got better. I was feeling really down trodden and misunderstood. Quite grouchy and confused when we watched a video in our Zone Training Meeting which changed my whole perspective: I was looking inward instead of reaching outward."
Monday, 11 November 2013
October 18
"Today was P-Day, but not really because we still had hours of classes and no free time. But we did get to go to the temple and get to email. I didn't really have any waiting for me though but Matt sent me a dear elder letter.
"Today was the first day that I struggled. I feel really insecure about the finite knowledge that I have and my ability to teach. I am really struggling to convey my thoughts but also to be understood. I think that the teachers all think that I am snarky and rude because I respond honestly to everything-even when it could be toned down. I think that I bring a completely different perspective to the table which-since its not understood, seems to just come across as disrespectful.
"Today was hard"- journal entry
I can remember feeling so proud of myself that I hadn't had a meltdown up until that point. I just felt completely defeated and a little lost. Everybody had been telling me how great the MTC was and how much fun I was going to have..but naturally, me being me, I just felt SO overwhelmed and inadequate.
"Today was the first day that I struggled. I feel really insecure about the finite knowledge that I have and my ability to teach. I am really struggling to convey my thoughts but also to be understood. I think that the teachers all think that I am snarky and rude because I respond honestly to everything-even when it could be toned down. I think that I bring a completely different perspective to the table which-since its not understood, seems to just come across as disrespectful.
"Today was hard"- journal entry
I can remember feeling so proud of myself that I hadn't had a meltdown up until that point. I just felt completely defeated and a little lost. Everybody had been telling me how great the MTC was and how much fun I was going to have..but naturally, me being me, I just felt SO overwhelmed and inadequate.
October 17
We had the opportunity to meet with our Branch Presidency and to get to know them a little bit and to get to know the branch members as well. As it was only the second day we didn't really have any previous opportunities to get to know the branch ( which was comprised of our zone) so it was nice to do so. Along with all of the generic introductory nonsense, they also asked us to share why we had chosen to go on a mission and a brief testimony. It was actually a really powerful experience. I don't know..it enabled us to get to know one another on a way deeper level than would be the norm in introductions.
During our meeting with the Branch Presidency we also were able to meet all of their wives. As the men took all of the elders into another room, the sisters were all asked to huddle up so that they could talk to us about things specifically pertaining to being sister missionaries. During the meeting I felt like everything about my appearance was being attacked: my shirt was too low because it wasn't touching my collar bone, my nail polish was too tight and I looked goth, my skirt was too long and I appeared to be a sister wife, my hair was too crazy and I seemed too trendy. I walked away from that meeting so frustrated and irritated! Who were they to tell me what was a attractive look and what wasn't?! They were in their 80's!
What I did learn from that experience was to take it with a grain of salt. Those women were trying to guide us to be the most effective missionaries that we could be. They weren't trying to make me out to be a sinner and a heathen but were drawing to each if our attentions, how important our appearance is as we are on the Lord's errand.
That evening was also the first in which I struggled with one of my companions. As we were striving to teach our 'investigators' I felt over and over again that my thoughts and sentences that I was trying to get out where just being shoveled to the side. That was a hard thing to stomach as I was trying to stretch myself to be more in tune with what and who my Heavenly Father wanted me to be.
During our meeting with the Branch Presidency we also were able to meet all of their wives. As the men took all of the elders into another room, the sisters were all asked to huddle up so that they could talk to us about things specifically pertaining to being sister missionaries. During the meeting I felt like everything about my appearance was being attacked: my shirt was too low because it wasn't touching my collar bone, my nail polish was too tight and I looked goth, my skirt was too long and I appeared to be a sister wife, my hair was too crazy and I seemed too trendy. I walked away from that meeting so frustrated and irritated! Who were they to tell me what was a attractive look and what wasn't?! They were in their 80's!
What I did learn from that experience was to take it with a grain of salt. Those women were trying to guide us to be the most effective missionaries that we could be. They weren't trying to make me out to be a sinner and a heathen but were drawing to each if our attentions, how important our appearance is as we are on the Lord's errand.
That evening was also the first in which I struggled with one of my companions. As we were striving to teach our 'investigators' I felt over and over again that my thoughts and sentences that I was trying to get out where just being shoveled to the side. That was a hard thing to stomach as I was trying to stretch myself to be more in tune with what and who my Heavenly Father wanted me to be.
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